


How It Felt

by yaminika (kurayaminika)



Series: Eruri Drabbles [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, M/M, just a what if situation, not canon, not spoiler free
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 15:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17831603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurayaminika/pseuds/yaminika
Summary: Levi wanted to know how it felt losing an arm so he can share the pain with Erwin. He got his wish.





	How It Felt

**Author's Note:**

> This is 3 AM drabble of sadness. It's un-beta. Please ignore grammar mistake. I suck at English.  
> I is no good. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Levi questioned his lover long ago, how does it feel losing an arm? A part of him wanted to share Erwin's pain, but the other was so secretive about his own feelings. Seeing Erwin clenching on his shoulder, either missing his right arm or due to phantom pain, doesn't make Levi feels any less unsettled. Erwin's depression and determination worried Levi, and any chances he tried to improve the condition proved fruitless. Levi can't recount how many sleepless nights Erwin suddenly bolted up and winced in pain. Even the sound of his teeth grinding to keep the scream back in his throat echoed around their room in the dark. Those were unforgettable sounds; the cries of a brave veteran.

 

Before Levi could even share those pain, death came and ripped them apart. It was too soon, but Levi knew it was coming. He wasn't able to understand Erwin's pain and anguish of losing an arm, or what kind of battle Erwin had to endure. The commander acted like everyday was normal, but Levi recognized Erwin's heart felt differently. He witnessed the horror of phantom pain and comfort him each night, but it wasn't enough. Levi selfishly wanted to carry the burden as well. He truly thought if he was Humanity's Strongest, then taking on a bit of suffering would be fine, if it was going to help Erwin. Unfortunately, life was no fairy tale. For once, Levi felt pathetic for not being more than just existing.

 

"Ah...this is how it felt..." Levi opened his eyes after reminiscing the past. He can feel the air resistance as he soared. The captain can see drops of blood floating on air, starting from his right side as he started falling down to where the river is. "This is how you felt back then...when a part of your body suddenly is gone..."

 

Zeke, the suicidal bastard, had triggered the spear and everything explodes. Since it was too sudden, Levi can only push himself back. But the explosion was quick enough to completely blew his entire away, taking Levi's right arm along.

 

Fate is a cruel thing, but it was beautiful. Levi thought this was a dream come true. No, a dream comes true would be Zeke's completely scattered across the field. This was a selfish satisfaction that Levi wished to understand for Erwin's sake. After all, it validated him. He's the only one who knew what Erwin's pain is like. It was a selfish satisfaction.

 

As Levi's body sank to the bottom of the river, his lips curled up into a smile. Levi embraced the sting on his fresh wound as he whispered: "I'm coming, Erwin."


End file.
